Don’t Chase Mirage

Well before I start, I would write something about a man. Two days ago, I came back to town around 11pm. My husband picked me up, and before going home, he mentioned we had to buy milk. We went to the only 24/7 mart near our place. While walking down the aisle of children’s section, I saw a man in late forties (or perhaps life treated him so harshly that he looked older than his age), who was still in uniform, looking at small girlish hairpins. He had a slight smile until he saw the tag, he slowly placed them back and walked away.
Now before I am asked (or judged) why I didn’t buy him those pins, well I have been on that road too. Had anyone approached me then to help me, my self-respect would have been shattered.
That man would have bought something to send back home. The most demanded items like tea, dates, dry fruit, silk, cosmetics, perfumes and chocolates are taken back home by almost every expat. But are these expats wealthy? Are these expats earning more easily than people in their countries? No. Now the people will quickly type here, ‘so who asked you to go there?’ Well, settling in some place doesn’t mean being unfaithful to one’s country. We have an equal amount of struggle when it comes to earning money, be it any country. But assuming that people who live in Dubai, USA, UK or anywhere can ‘easily’ afford or fulfill your wishes, is wrong. Envying them from their social media photos is utterly wrong.
Social Media is a mirage. When I post a photo of a concert, I don’t mention in the caption that I attended it for FREE because I volunteered there. When I post the photo of La Perle, I don’t write there that my spouse waited for a year to take me there. When I post a photo of my beautiful Persian cat, I don’t write that it took me 10 years to convince my spouse that keeping a pet doesn’t unclean the house. When I post the photo of skydiving, I don’t tell about the moneybox I broke to pay for it. When I post the photo of lavish coffee, I don’t say how my friend and I split the bill using a calculator.
I know I am wrong. I know I should be low-key, but I post. I post, and when people question me how can they have a life like mine, I say ‘work hard’. So I post to inspire not to envy.
A few days back, I found on my twitter a girl saying, ‘my cousins in America are so miser that they don’t even get me an iPhone.” Well, iPhone isn’t even my one-month’s salary. I wonder am I judged for being a miser too?
Life changes slowly and gradually. We often go to the places where we started from. Yesterday, I visited the first apartment where I lived when I first came to Dubai. I remember eating one buck of a McDonald ice-cream was a luxury. I remember our only entertainment was to walk around the streets at night and talk. Things have changed, but not in one night. Alhamdullilah now even if I am looking for a job these days, I still have money to eat an ice-cream. 😉
Nothing comes for free. Trust me. If your father, uncle or brother lives abroad, be considerate because they would do anything to get what you asked for. They would never tell you they skipped their meals to buy you an iPhone.
Build your own life. Don’t hate people because they have something that you don’t have. You might never know they would be praying for something that you have.
Much Love,
Huma Adnan, the mountain girl.
(They call me mountain girl here, and I love it)

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To Mothers in Heaven 


You have been strong women, because you not only gave birth to life but you saw yourselves abandoning your children when death approached you. How your heart would have cried when you had seen the death angel smiling at you. You wanted to say, “Let me cuddle a piece of my heart again. Let me kiss my baby once more. Let me see my child growing and becoming strong.” And death angel might have answered, “Nothing will be ever enough for you dear lady! For your heart is deeper than the seas. I sometimes look at you in amazement how can you hold so much love inside your tiny small organ. I have to take you because that’s what Divine wishes.” And their the last breath would have left your lips.  

Dear moms in heaven, you aren’t forgotten. You can never be forgotten. Because when the fetus was grown and ready to leave your womb, it left behind its DNA. It is there in you. Children without mothers have always known this that their mothers are carrying them in heaven too, but the modern day scientist have just discovered it. They say you carry our DNA in your brain. They call it a DNA, I call it a piece of soul.

Dear mothers, your children are strong. Don’t fret for them. They cry in pillows sometimes, but they will not let you down. When the world brings flowers and cakes for their mothers, we close our eyes and think of you. Crave for you. Ask for you. But don’t worry, once the pain leaves, our faith that you are forever with us becomes stronger.

Dear mothers in heaven, we all have lived without you on a hope that we shall meet again where world has no calendar. We shall embrace each other again and then it would be for eternity. No death must fear us, for we have parted enough in this world. Wait for us! We will be there one day to sparkle your eyes again and to find the truest love back.

A Letter to Syria 🇸🇾 


Dear Syria,

I’m sorry we have forgotten you. I’m sorry the world has lost its sympathy, compassion and care. Probably, constant news and photos of dying children have turned our hearts into stones.

Facebook doesn’t give you an option to mark yourself safe as it knows you have no access to the Internet. It doesn’t even ask us to change our display photos to show solidarity towards you. And people don’t use hashtags of savesyria any more.

My Syrian friends don’t talk about you too. They feel helpless and probably an escape from this conversation seems a better option to them.

But let me confess Syria! When I saw you on my newsfeed today, I immediately scrolled down and avoided looking at you. Because I was too afraid to look at your helpless and motionless babies.

Then I came to work and picked the paper. You were on front page. I wanted to put it down, but I saw the article; people blaming U.S and U.S blaming Assad. But no one said what needs to be done. We all are crestfallen and have lost the courage to talk about the unimaginable things you are going through.

Dear Syria, I know there are people who are too scared to share their land with you, but there are some who want to bring you to their homes.

Dear Syria, there are people who speak of The Holocaust and curse Hitler, but stitch their lips when it comes to you. However, I have seen people who speak for you and who fight on social media just like me. Since we are no warriors. So here I use my pen instead of sword to tell you that I stand with you. I salute you as you have written a new history by surviving greatest wounds. I’m sure those ruthless people are unable to fathom what iron you are made of.

Stay strong dear Syria! God might not send us there to help you, but he has surely poured the blood of warriors in your veins.

You will see the freedom!

You will smile again!

Love,

Helpless Human.

Bucket List


So everyone has a bucket list. A few love thrill other love serenity. But how many times have we really thought of doing things which we really wish to? Most of us don’t have any bucket list, and we take life where ever it takes us.

Life is a one time gift. It’s no doubt a blend of pain and joy, but only that grows more what we water more. Ponder over your pain every day and night, the pain will become the trademark of your life. Accept the pain and find the ways to bring happiness, the journey becomes easy.

I love happy-go-lucky type people who work hard for their happiness. They know the truth about living at its fullest. They take every opportunity to be enthusiastic and passionate about their goals.

Often people who work on their bucket list tend to live more happily than those who just drag lives. Having a bucket list gives us an opportunity to to discover our strengths and weaknesses. It keeps us on our toes; thus, providing less or no time for indulging into negative thoughts which can lead to depression.

It’s not necessary that your bucket list has to go with your daytime economy. Sometimes, the things which cost almost nothing can bring he greatest joy in your life.

To tick the things from your list can take years, but what maters most is that you are actually trying hard for it. This is one way to tell yourself that you matter too! You have to give priority to yourself as well.

Here are a few of the things which are in my bucket list. Some of them are done and for others I have kept my fingers crossed.

1. Visit South Africa’s craziest and famous Bloukran Bungy bridge jump and jump from there. Bungee jump is a must for adrenaline rush lovers and it’s still on my list. When would I do it? Well.. One day.


2. Educate a child. I always wanted to pass my knowledge to someone else. Anything I learnt from my life, from alphabets to the teachings of life. I haven’t completely done this, but my profession gives me opportunity to work on it. As a teacher I try my best not only to teach what is given in the curriculum, but to make some change in their lives.

3. Visit Mecca. Yes after years of waiting I crossed this wish from my list in June 2016. The best thing was that I was there on my birthday.


4. Do Phd. I love education! I believe that there’s no age for learning. Phd is one of my biggest dreams and I know it isn’t a piece of cake. Although I always wanted to be a forensic linguistics, I couldn’t as the course wasn’t available in my country. I still have an option of doing Phd in TOEFL and with will of God I will do it one day.

5. The fastest roller coaster in the world. I love adventure and all the scary rides, and I had heard a lot about Ferrara Rossa in Ferrari Worls. I didn’t know that life would one day bring me to UAE and I’d get a chance to try it. It’s amazing! The experiences was exciting and thrilling. I am glad I crossed it from my list sooner than I expected.


6. To see Eiffel Tower and Taj Mahal. I don’t know why I am so obsessed with these two iconic architectures. All I know is that I want to visit these one day.

7. Go skydiving. Many adventurous people have this on their bucket list and most of them do this on their birthday. I always wanted to before I turn 30 and I am glad I crossed this just 6 months before my birthday. If you are an adventure lover then add this on your list and go for it! You won’t regret! This is one of the best thing I have done in my life! From getting on the plane and exiting it, each moment has a thrill in it! One more thing, fears are just a product of human mind. You can conquer them with just a single step of courage.


8. Write a book. Writing a book isn’t the dream of most of people. Although human mind is full of thoughts and imagination, but only a few put them on paper. Some of those who write often dream to see their work in a form of book while other jettison their old journals. I started to write when I was in high school, but never had an idea that I’d be publishing a book. Five years ago, I put this dream on my bucket list. This dream is half achieved, since I have published my poetry till now and the novel is still on it’s way. Soon. Yes soon.


9. Travel by Cruise. My friend who has travelled by cruise find it a boring thing. May be he is not bound to sit at one place. However, my love for sea urges me to experience the calmness and anger of sea. Not a month but at least a week. Still waiting for it to happen.

10. Learn to play a musical instrument. I love violin. I love guitar. I love piano. But I have no command on any. Being studied from Convent, I just remember the first basic lesson of piano. I have a faded memory of a. beautiful nun teaching me to practice the keys. Right Left. Right Left. What happened next is a gone faded memory and I eagerly want to make it happen again. But his time perfectly and polished. I don’t know where to start from. But at least to learn one is on my list.

These are just a few of those things which I have done still waiting to do. But I am glad I have a list which keeps my each day worth living. What’s on your list? If you don’t have any then make one today, as life happens once only.

50 things which can tell that you are loved!


You don’t always need to hear ‘I love you’ to be assured that you are loved. Many of us think that only these three words can confess true love. But have you ever wondered that you are actually loved if you have heard any of these:

1. I care about you.

2. I need you.

3. I miss you.

4. Don’t ever leave me.

5. I can’t lose you.

6. You mean the world to me!

7. You have changed me in so many good ways.

8. I’m sorry. I won’t hurt you again.

9. Why did you ignore me?

10. Text me as soon as you reach!

11. Take care of yourself!

12. Share your problem with me.

13. You are my best friend.

14. I’ll always be there for you.

15. Time runs so fast when I am with you.

16. I’m counting days to your birthday.

17. When I am around you, I forget to check my phone.

18. I just did this to make you smile.

19. Come back soon.

20. Let’s share a chocolate.

21. Where’s my goodnight kiss?

22. I can’t eat alone!

23. Let’s eat in same plate.

24. Can I take a sip from your coffee?

25. Nooo! Don’t throw those chocolate wrappers! I want to save them.

26. It’s okay. It wasn’t your mistake.

27. Are you mad at me?

28. I’m sorry if I hurt you.

29. Don’t be depressed. I am here right with you!

30. I’ll try today your favorite ice cream.

31. You mean the world to me!

32. Oh! I have just come up with a new nickname for you!

33. Your hands are beautiful! (and holds them)

34. Oh God! I can laugh with you for hours and hours!

35. I want to pull your cheeks and mess up your hair!

36. Sorry! I was mad yesterday. I shouldn’t have said those things.

37. I know I have been really busy lately, but I can’t wait to get free and talk to you!

38. If there’s anything just let me know!! Wake me up even if it’s three in the morning.

39. I was listening to this song and it made me think of you, so I thought of sharing with you.

40. My day was worst! But now after talking to you, I feel better.

41. You’ll drive and I’ll just hold your hand!

42. Let’s go to beach and see the sunset!

43. Come on!! You can do it!! You are so brave!

44. Oh you are good at everything!

45. You cook as if the food is sent from heaven!

46. Oh my God! What have you done to your hair? (after laughing hard) But you look cute!

47. I’ll do the dishes today you just go and play your favorite track!

48. Oh you are getting bored! Let’s go for long drive! 

49. Get up! You’ll be late to work!

50. Don’t you dare delete this photo! You look awesome!

If you ever heard or said any of these then share them with your loved one. Make them feel special once again. ❤

Make your monday beautiful 🖤

It’s not weekend here, I’m making myself feel it’s one just before going to work. I made a coffee, played my favorite track and painted before taking a shower and leaving for work. How often do we find the perfect moment at most imperfect and unexpected time? Let each and every second carve on your soul the smile of future. Don’t wait for time, don’t wait for tomorrow, grab it! Grab it today and now!! Be persistent in love! Do what makes you happy! Love unconditionally! Express without a doubt! Your colours lie within you! Your notes lie within the ones you love! Hold them!!! Don’t let them go! Don’t let situation, people and fear to take them away from you! You are always loved! Make your Monday damn beautiful! 

@athousandyearsoflearning

Leave Your Comfort Zone 

Sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and walk on unknown paths to explore why your tiny mini little heart is always ready to break you into little pieces by exploding itself and tearing the soul apart. You probably won’t find the answers on stones and graffiti on the walls but you will learn that those you lost aren’t far from you, they’re moving in your very own shadow. You don’t need to text and wait at the middle of night to every person in your phone list with two painful words ‘need you’, rather by walking on unfamiliar ways you need to tell yourself that you need yourself the most! Stop waiting for someone to open the door and take you out in sunshine. You aren’t a baby anymore. Get up and light up the darkness believing that love resides within you.
#athousandyearsoflearning  

Your little hand..

The moment I held your hand.. No actually you held my hand.. When you gripped my finger into your tiny little hands, I discovered the purpose of life. I met the person living deep inside me who desired to be loved but hid the wish. Everytime I sang a lullaby, I understood that we can be loved without hearing back those three little words. Seeing you asleep in my arms made me cry and laugh. I slowly realized how important it is to look beyond the superficial thoughts. I mightn’t be your first home, but you have taught me it’s all right not to be able to carry a child in womb for nine months. You made me strong by happily taking showers from me. You made me confident by letting me change your diapers. You made me a different person by sleeping in my arms at two in the morning.#athousandyearsoflearning

Bedlam

The psychologist gave me a pen. “Jot down all your pain on the paper.”
I sat there for 30 minutes, pondering what to write. No. Pondering over how to write. After fifteen minutes I looked up and gave a helpless stare. I wanted to cry. I couldn’t. I wanted to scream. I wasn’t able to.
The man- who was supposed to set my mind right- asked,
“What are you fighting with? You were looking at paper as it’s the one who broke your heart. You were holding pen as it’s a sword and you want to attack the enemy. Write all you are going through on the paper!”
I thought for long. And replied, I am a writer. I have written my pain a thousand times. I have numerous journals with words singing the same melancholic song. But you know doctor, this pain is not a cage or cell. It’s a lock. It has locked the real me inside. I want to write. I can write. But shall I write the name which has broken my heart artfully? Isn’t it going to prick my fingers? How can I write on this piece of paper, ‘I miss the one I hate the most?’
This world will call me mad. And soon I would be shifted to bedlam. But you know what? He still won’t come to see me.
I laughed hysterically. Tore the paper. And danced and cried. Screamed and smiled. Some hands approached me. They dragged me. Here I am- in bedlam. Is he coming? I cry and laugh again.
#athousandyearsoflearning

Eid•••

Eid Mubarak!
I am not going to be narcissist here, but you know what’s the one thing I love about myself? “Since childhood I always look forward to celebrate Eid!” Yes I get up early, dress up and feast! Isn’t that what our Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) asked us to do so?
It hurts when I ask people what are they up to on Eid and they reply, “ah not at all excited!” or “Nothing! Would just sleeeeeep!”
I understand that we all get quite sleepless during ramadan and especially if you have a work in the morning too. Sleep. But why not in afternoon? Why not dress up and make your evening special.
People say they have no place to go. No problem. Stay home and enjoy the food, new clothes and the company of your loved ones. Then they say they have no one to sit with. Okay! Cook your self something delicious! Watch TV. Call a friend. Admire your outfit. No money for the clothes? Wear the best you have in your wardrobe. But don’t say you aren’t interested in this day!
You might think I am advising without being into such situations. No my dear. I have been in each of them which I jotted above. Yes and that is how I acted.
I never got an opportunity to go to mosque in my hometown. But I would wait for my dad and brothers to come home after Eid prayer. Now for last five years, I dress up and offer prayers. I come out and wish my soulmate a happy Eid. Because how can I miss the blessings which God sends on me through His angels. Just remember while you are wasting your day wearing pyjamas and sleeping on Eid, someone somewhere might be wishing to have the chance of celebrating this day in peace. Don’t deny the favours of your Lord. Cherish them before it’s too late.
Dress up! Feast! And Merry! Wish you all a very happy Eid ❤

Photo Credit: Adnan Shahzad